i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
