I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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