Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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