yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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