16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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