pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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