His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Two words: nipple clamps
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