My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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