I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My vagina just clenched in fear
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