All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
