you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
