I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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