Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.