3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.