Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
