im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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