I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
