Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
