Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
