Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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