Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
