I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize