someone threw a dead crab at me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
