Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
