I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
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this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize