so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think i have herpe
just one?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this boner is exhausting
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
