Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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