I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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