I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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