wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
