We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
