Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
