Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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