You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
