just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
