she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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