i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
