I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
