Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
