dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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