it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
