Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this will be a night to untag.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
