Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
