My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize