so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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