So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
