tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i came on her dog
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize