What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
