They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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