I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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