He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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