I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize