I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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