i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
