come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
