Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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