Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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