do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
