On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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