I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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