Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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