so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
