I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think your dad took our porno
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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