after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
